Whispering in the wind SHE caresses you gently with her breath and calls you forth
In the rustle of the trees SHE summons you
Through the gentle touch and embrace of Mother Earth SHE is awaiting you
SHE holds you tenderly through the long night and the storm - still there in the soft dawn of a new day
For more years then I care to acknowledge (let's just say at least 3 decades!) I thought if I just did MORE I would finally feel worthy.
Worthy of love, praise and unconditional acceptance from my parents, extended family, friends, society - even people I didn't know!
Being raised with the belief system that life was for working hard, getting a good job and then staying with that job (no matter what) meant that from the very beginning the seed was planted - to show the world I was enough I needed to DO more!
If I just worked harder and really took on the role of self sacrificing, people-pleasing martyr I might perhaps finally embody that all elusive feeling of deep self acceptance and love.
Sadly for far too long my entire sense of self worth was based on what other people thought about my striving and efforting - and never one to back down from a challenge I pushed and strived as hard as I could!
2016 was the year I finally decided I couldn't carry my not good enough story around any longer.
I was freakin weary from lugging this incredibly heavy burden for more than 3 decades - plus I had a plethora of back issues which I intuited were deeply connected to the weight of this load - and so I courageously made a loving and heartfelt commitment to do whatever it took to let this baggage of non-serving beliefs go for good.
Feeling unworthy, of little value, a failure and never enough had plagued me my whole life, sabotaging any attempts I had of creating success. In reflection (gotta love hindsight) it's so easy to see why I always 'failed' at things - the underlying core belief I held that I just wasn't good enough fed into everything I did - and the ultimate lack of (perceived) success only kept me going around in circles as it went straight into my 'I'm a failure' story.
What is Self Love?
But what does this actually look and feel like in the reality of day to day life in the modern masculine world?
I read and talk a lot with the sisters in my life about Self Love - and like most women I am exploring what it means to genuinely love myself on a moment to moment basis - but how does a woman truly embody this kind of love when the masculine paradigm she lives within consistently tells her that she isn't enough? Not enough until she loses weight, enhances her breasts and arse in some way, has a baby, a pumping career and successfully juggles both at the same time with ease and perfection? (and this, ladies, is just the tip of the iceberg!)
Are you rushing and racing from one thing to the next never really fully arriving or experiencing the moment you were rushing towards (because you are already moving again)?
Does this state of perpetual urgency leave you feel chronically stressed, anxious, overwhelmed and disconnected to your life and to the essence of WHO YOU ARE?
Sweetheart - you are not alone.
The pace of modern life is asking much of women as we endlessly strive to keep all our balls in the air ( in an effort to prove our value and worth), and so the burn out, deep exhaustion and a plethora of health issues are still sadly rising as we push and add more 'stuff' and 'things' to our day.
