For more years then I care to acknowledge (let's just say at least 3 decades!) I thought if I just did MORE I would finally feel worthy.
Worthy of love, praise and unconditional acceptance from my parents, extended family, friends, society - even people I didn't know!
Being raised with the belief system that life was for working hard, getting a good job and then staying with that job (no matter what) meant that from the very beginning the seed was planted - to show the world I was enough I needed to DO more!
If I just worked harder and really took on the role of self sacrificing, people-pleasing martyr I might perhaps finally embody that all elusive feeling of deep self acceptance and love.
Sadly for far too long my entire sense of self worth was based on what other people thought about my striving and efforting - and never one to back down from a challenge I pushed and strived as hard as I could!
Marrying my sense of worth with how much I did was a recipe for disaster!
Trying to prove my value via excessive doing only led to my inevitable 'dark night of the soul' burnout breakdown (read about it HERE), yet the gift in the darkness was it simultaneously created space for an awakening.
Either I woke the f$#% up or I sank into a life of dis-ease, depression, pain and exhaustion.
Showing up this way was not only sucking the life force out of me, it was also completely unsustainable and it's end result was not one of embodied worth and enoughness but rather a deeper disconnect with my true essence.
Making a commitment after the breakdown to start living my life in a more loving, gentle, feminine, kind and compassionate way was a huge turning point for me, yet the ensuing years have had many moments where I slipped back into old 'achievement before everything' habits. Guess what - like you I am a human woman doing her best, and sometimes I fuck up and make poor choices #imperfectlyperfect #teachwhatweneedtolearn
The difference now is that my desire is no longer unachievable perfection but to know my self more intimately and to fully own my worth - and to then keep gently navigating life from this deep embodied knowing.
Identifying what you do in the world with who you really are is actually quite common.
How many times have you been asked when meeting someone for the first time - 'What do you do' - as if your response could ever express the fullness and depths of the multi-faceted being that you are??
Your work, job, business and many multicoloured hats and roles that you play out in the world over the journey of your life are not who you are - and your true embodied worth will NEVER be found in your doing.
For the noise of your doing can easily become a distraction and diversion - a way to disconnect you even further from your worth and truth.
If your life is a never-ending cycle of busyness and DOing (so that you can prove your worth) you may miss the moments of pure BEing - the joy of having a body with which you get to - explore, breathe, sound, sigh, scream, laugh, move, watch the miracle of a new dawn's sunrise, play, make love and experience pleasure.
You forget what it is to simply be IN your life when life is driven by pushing and striving and ruled by a never-ending 'to-do' list.
Remembering and reclaiming the essence of who you are beyond the identification you might have with the roles (mama, lover, sister, daughter etc) and living life from this truth is what is you are here for.
To live this beautiful life to the fullest, to be true to yourself (always!), to love hard, to fall and try again, to open yourself up every day to experience joy and bliss and to know your worth in purely just existing (even if you don't do a damn thing!) - THIS is what it's about woman!
Your life is not for you to spend in judgement of yourself, to push yourself to illness, to worry about what another thinks of your choices and to always question your worth.
You are worthy from the very moment of conception.
There is NOTHING you need to 'do' in order to prove this!
Simply showing up and being present in your life and your embodied experience within it - and to enjoy it ALL along the way - this is the gift of life!
So sweetheart - if my story mirrors yours - where can you find space today to prioritise pleasure, be still, connect in and remember your inherent worth?
I see you for the imperfectly perfect woman that you are - and I love you all the more for your vulnerabilities, your authenticity, your insecurities and your imperfections!
The world needs us now more than ever - so RISE UP and claim your worth woman - for yourself, your daughters and for the healing of the wounded feminine.
I would love to hear for you - so let me know in the comments below if you have ever aligned your worth with your doing, and what tools you may have used to anchor back into a place of embodied worthiness.
May you reclaim who you are sister, and may you remember your true worth.
Blessings and love,