Ego is not a dirty word...
Whether you move through life with complete naivety and disregard for your ego, or, your spiritual path of choice has you contemplating it daily, none of us are immune to the challenges one can face going head-to-head with a stubborn and strong-willed sense of self.
We are born into this life as innocent soulful beings without the concept of 'I'.
Before long though life and all it's complexities and conditioning ensures that the "I" lands pretty quickly to ensure our survival.
We are generally unaware of the ego in our early years and it is usually only once the conditioning is deeply engrained that we begin to contemplate our ego and it's hold.
We try Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness amongst other practises to try and unravel the ego's grip as we aspire to let go all clinging, grasping and attachment.
I can tell you from my own personal experiences that this is not an easy task, and it takes devotion, practise and patience.
I can also share that this is an on-going journey, one that has many ebbs and flows and a plethora of ups and downs.
My ego has what it considers a good reason for it's grip - it's very own existence and survival!
I notice that when I experience some personal breakthroughs my ego gets nervous and starts to up the ante, usually resulting in some really challenging experiences coming my way, all in the bid to test me and my resolve.
Through all the murkiness there is always some light when it comes to the ego, but today what I want to actually share with you is some of the things my ego - in her darkness - doesn't really want you to know.
She doesn't want you to know:
+THAT I'M SCARED.
Scared to fail and scared to succeed.
Scared to shine bright and scared of ever being dull.
Scared to be seen and scared of being invisible.
Scared I will never live out my soul-purpose.
Scared of a life of mediocracy and monotony.
+ THAT I'M UNSURE.
I sometimes feel uncertain about my path, my role as a mama, my life.
+ THAT I DOUBT.
Oh the doubt. I doubt myself mostly, but this one has the power to insipidly creep it's way into other areas of my life too.
+ THAT I"M VULNERABLE.
Even though being in my tender vulnerability is part of who I am being called to be in the world (and it actually comes really easy for me), my ego still doesn't really want you to know.
+ THAT I"M IMPERFECT.
She really doesn't want you to know that!
She has spent so much precious time and countless years perfecting the mask she wears.
You know the one - the 'Look at me and how easy and effortless life seems to be'!
+ THAT I DON"T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER.
The truth is I don't, but don't tell anyone ok?!
There is a lot my ego would prefer to keep under wraps.
There are the quite a few things that I need to say.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW:
+ That my imperfections are what make me divinely PERFECT!
+ That despite any fear I might feel at times, this never stops me from reaching for the stars and manifesting the life I desire and deserve.
+ That my uncertainties and doubts are fleeting feelings that don't hang around for long.
I notice their arrival - and sometimes get caught up in the story - and then realign with what I know is truth and watch as they dissolve into nothing.
+ My vulnerability is part of my human-ness and is what allows me to deeply connect to you!
+ The idea of ever 'having it all together' is an illusion, and boring as ever anyway!
Life will always throw some curve balls, you just have to have the right tools and know how to catch them!
Do some of these things sound or feel familiar sweetheart?
We are all unique you know...but we are also all the same too.
A final thought...
This life is the best ride in town!
Let go, break free, speak up...there's never been a better time to do it!
Why not give up trying to control it all and instead buckle yourself in, gather up all your favourite tools and get ready for the time of your life!
Do you relate sweet sister?
What is it your ego is desperate to keep hidden?
I'd love you to share in the comments below something your ego doesn't want me to know and something you feel called to share with me.
Go on darling one, it's safe! :-)
Have a beautiful week, and may your ego play second fiddle for a while!!