Feeling disconnected with my body used to be a way of life for me. So conditioned by our culture to look and be a certain way I approached my body as something to manipulate and manage - a thing I could mould so I would look the part and fit in to society's idea of Woman.

In my twenties I spent hours at the gym 6 days a week - pushing and punishing my body until she rewarded me with just the right lift of my butt and tone of my abs - and honestly, I LOVED it! I loved the way my body looked - but I couldn't really FEEL her.

Turning 47 a few weeks and in the throes of perimenopause it's become clear to me through my own embodied experience and speaking to older women who've traversed this journey that one of the things so many women fear about menopause and getting older is that they will no longer be JUICY.

The overwhelming feeling and response is that they will hit the dreaded M word and suddenly become dry, brittle old ladies with less energy, less value to offer - and a less than 'moist' vagina!

They're afraid that their zest for life - their vitality - will dry up like a parched desert and their days will be spent ruminating on how things used to be when they were young and luscious.

They fear that words like moist, juicy and succulent will no longer apply to them!

So - I want to open up a conversation about the collective and cultural perspective we - as women - have around ageing because this conversation NEEDS to be out in the light not hidden away in the shadows.

Purging in the PYRE (or witch fire) of Perimenopause - How I renewed my sacred vow to the Goddess and reclaimed my Wild Woman - a tale of one woman's journey into the underworld…

During the intense Scorpio Full Moon back in May I made a vow to my womb. I promised to no longer abandon her and to finally face the darkness and wounds I had been hiding there for over 20 years.

At almost 47 I am deep in the throes of the feminine mysteries and experience of perimenopause - and so in some way I actually welcomed the descent as I knew it was coming.

This journey was to be one of those pivotal moments you look back on once you've come through the fire - a turning point which saw me spiral very quickly into the dark void within.

As I surrendered to the dark void over the Winter I cried an ocean of tears - for many MANY things - some known and lots to be honest still unknown. It was a release of epic proportion - a death to old structures and ways of living - the layers of which I am still integrating.

Something that kept arising for me was the running theme of just how DISCONNECTED we have become - collectively and individually.

Stuck in the story of our separateness we struggle to truly FEEL ourselves amidst the endless doing, striving, hustle, 'to-do' lists and busyness that the lie of modern living tells us we need to live a successful life.

The sadness that permeated my whole being at how far we have drifted from our true, authentic, deeply connected and cyclic nature was all consuming - yet at the same time proved to be powerful medicine during my descent.

Simply put - we have lost our way and forgotten how to BE.