Every day I see them.
The pavement pounders on a mission.
Women with an insatiable hunger to get somewhere.
Anywhere.
Rushing, running, pushing, striving.
Overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted and a little unhinged.
The destination unknown and unchartered but a desperate need to get there anyway.
The masculine forever leading the race, the feminine gasping to keep up as it’s not really her natural way.
Where are they going I wonder?
What is it all for?
What’s the rush sister?
***
I get it.
Before my physical breakdown I used to be just like that too.
I was always on the move - physically, emotionally and mentally I struggled to stop.
Movement, the endless mind chatter and the constant roller coaster of feelings - all became my distraction from the one thing I was running from.
Slowing down, softening and surrendering weren’t really part of my experience, let alone my vocabulary.
Back then I LOVED it.
Never ending gym sessions, dynamic yoga, and a bike as transport.
Driven, disconnected and disempowered.
Multi-tasking, juggling too many balls in the air and priding myself for my ability to 'suck it up' and get on with it.
Stillness wasn’t really my thing.
Being present wasn’t either.
I was constantly seeking the next moment, or hanging out in the past.
Never really being here.
Years on and some seriously challenging life lessons learned, I now take a new approach to all that I do in my life. The Universe gave me a HUGE wake up call when I got Fibromyalgia in 2007 and my life has never looked the same since.
***
It took some time for me to love being quiet and still. Old habits didn’t die off as quickly as I might like and my ego was vigorously attached to the old way.
With plenty of patience, kindness, love and care I slowly began to find a new way to navigate life that didn’t leave me feeling empty and worn out.
One that honoured my feminine and where deep listening, thriving and flourishing became my daily desires.
During the years where I was very unwell I had plenty of time for reflection.
The exhaustion and pain that came with Fibromyalgia left me unable to ‘do’ much and so stillness and enquiry was all that was left.
My deep ponderings highlighted some beautiful insights, which have now become a way of life for me.
Where had all that striving and ‘doing’, running and forcing really gotten me anyway?
Sick and tired and completely out of touch with my natural rhythms and cycles.
Lost to the innate wisdom of the divine feminine within.
Tapping into the natural qualities of the feminine like receptivity, simply ‘being‘ and surrendering slowly changed my life - and it changed me too.
No longer was I compelled to meet life from a space where my needs were put last and where I only moved from the masculine energy.
I longed for balance and harmony with the yin and the yang.
I desired a more intimate relationship with my intuition – to really 'know it in my bone's' when I needed to go within and retreat and when it was time to be out in the world in all my glory and power.
This journey of unveiling, revealing and remembering has been the greatest gift.
Now I feel the calling to slow things down.
Not to stop being in the world offering my gifts and following my purpose, but to do it in a more aligned and feminine way.
I long to feel into the fullness and entirety of a moment.
To BE with the suffering and discomfort as joyfully as I am with the elation and happiness.
This is a constant and ongoing process…every day and each moment I have a choice of how I show up in it.
Present and accepting; or resisting and suffering.
Which would you choose honey?
I no longer feel I am trying to escape or move out of the moment.
Instead, I enjoy fully embracing it with no need to know what’s coming next or even sometimes where I am going.
I rely more and more on my internal navigation system and trust the Universe has my back - ALWAYS.
Letting go of the need to get somewhere other that where I am right now continues to be my daily practise.
Listening to my body, choosing the path that honours and nurtures me; and taking time every day to rest into stillness is the new way I am doing life.
For when we truly know there is nowhere to get to, we immediately land right back in the one place we have... here.
And here is glorious!
I'd love for us all to embrace this new feminine paradigm, one where we allow ourselves permission to rest, be still and move through life listening to the intelligence our inner voice.
One where we don't feel the intense need to push ourselves to the point of needless suffering but rather melt into the cosmic flow of all things.
To go with the tide, rather than against it...
***
As always I will leave you with a little self-enquiry.
Where do you feel the energy of pushing and striving in your life?
What are you running towards or away from? What’s the rush sister?
Where in your life do you most avoid being in the moment?
How can you find a way to soften a little into the feminine?
Let me know in the comments below if you ever feel caught up in an energy of striving and rushing and what you do to reconnect and realign.
May your days be filled with sweet moments of stillness.
Love Star xxxxx
