Rest.
Beautiful, deep, effortless, simple and life-giving rest...
What does it look like for you?
Sinking into the stillness of my restoration practise is pure bliss for my weary soul, and has become a part of my day that is non-negotiable.
It's not important how much time I spend giving back, nor how I choose to show up for myself, rather that I intuit what my needs are and honour them in a way that leaves me feeling recharged, reenergised and reconnected.
It might be a gentle walk on the beach one day and a restorative yoga practise the next.
It might be 10 minute meditation practise or a 2 hour nap.
The overriding point of prioritising time out is essentially to help me move me out of feelings of exhaustion and emptiness and into a space of vitality, ease, and fullness.
But what about the feelings of guilt that can arise when we slow down and consciously take time out for self care?
Ideas around rest in the current masculine paradigm see us put off taking time out to refuel as our conditioning points out that rest is indulgent, lazy or that we just don't have time for it.
If you could let go of those old thoughts, what might it look like to put your needs first for a change?
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Letting go of the need to be constantly in the masculine mode of 'doing' and instead rest into feminine art of simply 'being' can be hard when society urges us to be more, do more, achieve more.
But where did the idea that stopping for a moment to just 'BE' was unproductive?
Why is so much importance put on ticking things off our 'to-do' list and not on how well we love and look after ourselves?
In my own experience, and that of the women I have worked with, the strong energy of 'should' plus all the pushing, striving, forcing, needing to "achieve', people pleasing and martyring oneself generally come from a single core issue that sadly many of us will probably recognise.
I AM NOT(GOOD) ENOUGH.
Do you relate sister?
Do you ever feel like you should be more than you are now?
A better mother, lover, worker, sister, daughter?
Are you constantly getting stuck in a thought process that sees you feeling guilt when you don't quite make the grade or live up to your ( often unrealistic) expectations?
Do you feel that you are enough - right now - in this moment?
Honestly?
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The collective feeling of 'not-enoughness' is experienced by women all across the planet and across all aspects of society, generation and culture.
Unfortunately, it is not-exclusive and will latch onto any unsuspecting sister who may be feeling a little vulnerable, uncertain or lost.
It is from this place of 'not-enoughness' that the feelings of guilt arise - and the cycle of pushing continues are we strive to prove via our 'doing' that we are, in fact, enough.
This path - where resting is considered a fruitless activity and we just keep going no matter what - leads to exhaustion, burn-out and for me a complete and utter breakdown which saw me unable to 'do' for more than 2 years whilst I slowly healed.
It took a HUGE shake-up from the Universe for me to see that how I was living wasn't sustainable (or gentle and kind!), and to slowly make the changes needed for a more feminine, whole, connected, intuitive and inspired life!
Now this is my work - to empower and inspire you to show up in a more feminine and gentle way - and from this place THRIVE!
So how can we drop the guilt, let go of the old conditioning around rest and reclaim our feminine wisdom that acts as a guiding light - intuitively directing us in the direction most aligned with who we are and what we need in each beautiful moment?
Here's a few ideas of mine:
+ Trust that even when you're not feeling it that you are enough.
Not tomorrow or next week - but right now!
Not when you have changed or fixed the things you think are lacking, or when you have ticked all the boxes on your 'to-do' list - but right now.
Not when you are fitter, healthier, more loving or giving - but right now.
+ Let go of old conditioning and create new neural pathways.
'YOU ARE ENOUGH'
Use this as your new affirmation and default setting. When an old thought drops by for a little self-sabotage party, just keep affirming to yourself that all that you are and do IS enough...
Like anything repeated over time, you will slowly start to truly believe these whispered words and your feelings will begin to align so that this becomes more than just mere words but your actual embodied truth.
+ Create small windows of opportunity to slow things down to rest and notice how you feel for the rest of the day.
When you take the time for restoration - in whatever way feels right for you - you are more likely to feel more energised, full and connected to where things currently sit for you physically, emotionally, mentally and energetically.
This precious time tuning in over tuning out allows you to show up in a more efficient and productive way with your time, and to feel more present, inspired and creative when it is time to get on with the business of 'doing'.
Give it a try and see...
+ When feelings of guilt arise, let them go and come back to truth.
For the truth is always there beneath the stories we attach to and believe.
The truth - that you are and always have been enough - will literally set you free from the suffering you may endure day in and day out.
Guilt will slyly sneak in when you feel there isn't enough time to get everything done, and see you stay stuck in an old cycle of belief that if you just do one more thing all will be well...
Sorry sister, but this way of thinking will lead you to a place you don't want or need to visit!
Each moment of every day you are doing your best with what is presented before you.
Remember that one honey - you are doing your best.
+ Hone your intuition by taking time each day to be still.
Begin to deeply listen to your inner voice, and rather than over-riding it with your busyness and 'to-do' list, try taking time out instead to hear what's being shared and see where honouring that information leads you.
I believe you will feel more clarity and aligned when you start to follow the guidance of your inner wisdom, for it is your greatest ally and gift as a woman - and it is time for this wisdom to once again be acknowledged and revered.
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Restoration and the spaciousness created from it for reflection and intuition connection are themes that have become a part of my every day existence.
How I show up in the world depends on the time I dedicate and devote to my own Self Care.
Once guilt may have reigned supreme, but not anymore.
Once I would have soldiered on regardless of what may have been going on in my world and felt pride at my ability to suck it up.
No more...
I won't pretend that guilt never drops by unawares though.
I'm just more aware of her presence now, and can consciously choose where I direct my energy and thoughts.
Now I relish and delight - after all this time - to be finally choosing me over all else.
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So what you are your favourite ways to love and look after yourself?
Is there any guilt there when you do take time for you?
Share in the comments below lovely one...and feel free to share my ponderings with any sister you think may benefit from my words :-)
If you feel inspired by my sharing and are ready to kick guilt to the curb for good and relearn the art of rest, but aren't sure where to start, then check out my ONE ON ONE packages and get in touch HERE to chat about how I can serve you.
Much love from my rested soul to yours,
Star xxxx
